2nd Grammy Level
Registered: Dec 2008
I'm just going to ramble a bit for my entry.....
In life I haven't always made the best decisions.
I have a fair number of regrets.... I'm not a fan of that whole "no regrets" mantra I think it's OK to have regrets. Sure everything we do makes us who we are. I like who I am, and so many of my life's experiences add to that, But I can't say there aren't things I definitely regret.
There are multiple ways to get to any destination. Right now I'm OK with where I am, but I think I could have ended up in the same place and not ***ked up certain things.
Anyway. With that.
My same ability to make mistakes, has also led me to some successes. I do make decisions without always thinking them through.
I feel like a have a passion for certain things and people, it can be strong, and I can be somewhat of an addict to things. I can say I think I'm pretty cool for some of my adventures, especially the ones I did solo as a youngster.
Some of these places were places I maybe shouldn't of have been, but I have stories from them, and most all of my very best friends I have made while going on an adventure.
My friends from here all fit that category so much.
I wasn't dealt the roughest hand in life. Overall things are pretty good. Some emotional trauma here and there. Some loss . Bumps and bruises. Scars. But I know many people have had things far worse. I'm lucky for what I have, but I have been beat up a little here and there throughout the journey.
There's this. Maaaan. One of my best friends in life ever. Ryan. My age., Er actually technically younger (by one month)... I look up to him so much. I kinda feel like a little brother to him, even though I'm older.
We met each other during some rebellious teenage years. Both of us could have gone down wrong paths and ***ked **** up so much worse than they are now. We are very similar, but I feel like he's more zen.
It's hard to explain things without giving out specifics of everything. But he's come a long way.
Most of our old school mutual friends haven't had the same positive outcome. Some in jail some dead some just completely ***ked up in the head.
Dudes a big success in my eyes. And still we manage to talk a lot. Sometimes a stretch will pass here and there where we don't talk, but he's always there when I need him (again, like a big brother).
So this friend has saved me at some of my super low points. Whenever I have a breakdown, he has been there to make time to get me back to Earth.
And here's what made me feel so great.
Not long ago we were talking, sharing old stories and laughing. Most of the stories are stupid kid nonsense about causing trouble. He brought up a conversation we had, that I forgot about, the story was probably 10+ years old, but he told me how some of the things I told him at that point changed his life, and always stuck with him.
He said, "man, I'll never forget that".
It was great for me to know that something I had said or done had had a life changing impact on somebody.
That's the sort of things that I consider successes.
To feel like I have affected somebody's life in a positive manner. None of us know how long we will be here. Tomorrow may never come. But to think some of my actions could have a positive influence on people even after my time of passing feels pretty good.
I'm proud of my honesty, I'm proud of my loyalty. I don't think I have ever intentionally wronged anybody. I generally feel like I love everybody. There is nobody I wouldn't forgive.
I feel like my successes aren't necessarily things I can put on display. It's not like a trophy case of accomplishments like "I won this back in 1997 for blah blah blah", my successes are mostly the good friends who stick by my side.
Not everybody sticks around forever. But the people who have stuck around I almost ask myself "damn, you haven't left yet?". I must have done a couple things right here and there.
Minor accomplishments that have made me happy. I feel good about some of my design work from over the years. Shirts, Posters, Album covers, Logos etc.
I haven't made anything big in awhile, but I see every now and then photos online of random people I have never met wearing my designs.
I have seen people get tattoos of some.
I feel happy about my band days with REHAB, seriously some of the funniest times in my life 2006-2014. Touring, sleeping in vans, blah blah blah, road ****.
Working with/for a major band made me feel pretty cool.
One cool thing that happened last year or so was a different one of my childhood favorite bands sought me out.
Tracked me down, to make something for them for their upcoming tour. I had never officially worked for them, but they tracked me down.
That was badass, I had no contact with them, they hadn't been friends of mine. It was a roundabout way they found my artwork and I ended up doing stuff for them.
I never really got compensated from these guys as I should have. But it was kinda like checking off a little childhood fantasy, like "haha, you recognized me, *****!"
For real, such rambling.
I'm sure I'll edit this in a bit.
But I really love you all.
Last edited by Doogie HAWES'er on 09-08-2017 at 06:54 PM
Report this post to a moderator | IP: Logged