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Doogie HAWES'er
2nd Grammy Level

Registered: Dec 2008
Location: Seattle
Posts: 2318

Say something good about yourself.

My friend is being sad.
I wanna smack him and say "dude,,,, be happy. You're cooler than most people"

What makes you amazing?
What are you proud of?
What are your big accomplishments?
Time to brag!
Bring it on!

Last edited by Doogie HAWES'er on 09-01-2017 at 12:10 AM

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Old Post 08-31-2017 09:27 AM
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Doogie HAWES'er
2nd Grammy Level

Registered: Dec 2008
Location: Seattle
Posts: 2318

PS:
If this is a dead thread, I'll kick each of your asses..... and then say something amazing about you.


Go! Now! Be happy for who you are.

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Old Post 08-31-2017 09:28 AM
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Dani
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Registered: Mar 2004
Location: Sweden.
Posts: 54322

Those questions are scary but good to reflect up on. Ok, I will reply later tonight, promise.

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Old Post 08-31-2017 09:36 AM
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Dani
Moderator

Registered: Mar 2004
Location: Sweden.
Posts: 54322

Re: Say something good about yourself.

What makes you amazing?
Maybe cause I am so so full of life. I like to have fun and maybe cause I am funny sometimes too. Also I am very honest always (without hurting someones feelings of course) and people seem to appreciate and value that a lot. I'd never ever backstab anyone, I'd rather stab myself before.

What are you proud of?
I am proud of becoming the strong girl I have become. To not pity myself and feel sorry for myself after everything. Life hasn't been easy on me always, but it feels pretty easy now compared to a few years ago even though it's tough at times, specially recently. Everything that happens is a lesson and there is a reason for every lesson, sooner or later I will know why.

What are your big accomplishments?
I guess surviving a war being that small without having any traumatic experiences, moving to a whole new country, learning the new language, finishing school, going through a divorce alone without any siblings and about ten years of constant hell at home, playing soccer in the top team, getting my bachelors degree, travelling the world, writing poems and songs, seeing and meeting my my biggest inspiration and role model, being surrounded by so many wonderful people for so many years, having almost all of my closest friends still in my life, getting challenging and fun jobs where I can be creative and get pretty good pay for it too. Also, becoming fearless, bold and always so positive!

Last edited by Dani on 08-31-2017 at 06:08 PM

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Old Post 08-31-2017 06:03 PM
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purple18
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Registered: Jan 2007
Location: Hungary
Posts: 14028

i swear i tried really hard to answer these. but i don't think of myself along those lines. i pretty much consider myself the luckiest person alive for being surrounded by the best people in the world, and just having a great life (right now). anything i have or achieved i don't really consider "big" but i am grateful for every single moment i get to spend like this. i literally cannot believe i deserve anything good i have in my life. i guess this is what they call impostor syndrome?

the problem is that i probably measure myself by what other people say about me and think about me and show to me. i've always been a sucker for love and appreciation. only recently i started to grow up a bit i guess and started seeing me through my own eyes and started being a bit less insecure. still, to this day and probably forever i am more aware of my flaws and imperfections than anything good about myself.

if you asked me 3 years ago i would have told you i hated myself, because i was in a very toxic relationship, the person i loved abused me (because he had lots of problems himself) and made me believe that noone could love me or be with me because i am so difficult and such a bad person and he is the only person in the world who can bear me and he made it look like he was doing me a favor by staying with me. i was feeling really bad back then. he made a lot of scars deeper but i am recovering now and i am extremely happy that, being the loveball and miserable piece of crap i was, i was able to turn my back on someone who was giving me such a horrible time. i was really really depressed. and it's never over tbh. you need the darkness to appreciate the light.

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Old Post 09-01-2017 08:57 AM
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Dani
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Registered: Mar 2004
Location: Sweden.
Posts: 54322

quote:
Originally posted by purple18
i swear i tried really hard to answer these. but i don't think of myself along those lines. i pretty much consider myself the luckiest person alive for being surrounded by the best people in the world, and just having a great life (right now). anything i have or achieved i don't really consider "big" but i am grateful for every single moment i get to spend like this. i literally cannot believe i deserve anything good i have in my life. i guess this is what they call impostor syndrome?

the problem is that i probably measure myself by what other people say about me and think about me and show to me. i've always been a sucker for love and appreciation. only recently i started to grow up a bit i guess and started seeing me through my own eyes and started being a bit less insecure. still, to this day and probably forever i am more aware of my flaws and imperfections than anything good about myself.

if you asked me 3 years ago i would have told you i hated myself, because i was in a very toxic relationship, the person i loved abused me (because he had lots of problems himself) and made me believe that noone could love me or be with me because i am so difficult and such a bad person and he is the only person in the world who can bear me and he made it look like he was doing me a favor by staying with me. i was feeling really bad back then. he made a lot of scars deeper but i am recovering now and i am extremely happy that, being the loveball and miserable piece of crap i was, i was able to turn my back on someone who was giving me such a horrible time. i was really really depressed. and it's never over tbh. you need the darkness to appreciate the light.





How was your childhood?

My mom was just like that when I was a kid/teen, but I somehow early knew that I'm just her punching bag, so when I met my ex I knew the problem was not me like he would said, being all illogical, etc. So it never hurt me, but his both ex were depressed for a long time and really hurt. So I can imagine how tough that must be to recover from. I think we learn a lot about ourselves when we meet these people. Somehow that we have not valued ourselves much enough to know that we don't deserve this. We deserve better. I'm super happy that you have found true love and are married. I know what you mean that we will never really heal and it's never going "away", but at least we can learn to love again, and it's ok to get hurt again, people hurt and get hurt. We are not alone.

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Old Post 09-01-2017 05:34 PM
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purple18
Triple Platinum Record Level

Registered: Jan 2007
Location: Hungary
Posts: 14028

quote:
Originally posted by Dani


How was your childhood?

My mom was just like that when I was a kid/teen, but I somehow early knew that I'm just her punching bag, so when I met my ex I knew the problem was not me like he would said, being all illogical, etc. So it never hurt me, but his both ex were depressed for a long time and really hurt. So I can imagine how tough that must be to recover from. I think we learn a lot about ourselves when we meet these people. Somehow that we have not valued ourselves much enough to know that we don't deserve this. We deserve better. I'm super happy that you have found true love and are married. I know what you mean that we will never really heal and it's never going "away", but at least we can learn to love again, and it's ok to get hurt again, people hurt and get hurt. We are not alone.

oh my childhood was messed up, that is partly why i am messed up myself. My father left us when i was 1 and then he died 4 years later. After that my mom went through some unhappy relationships and abusive boyfriends etc and only recently did she find peace. So yeah i am probably so insecure because of many things. It is great that you can be strong and confident enough to know that people are not attacking you and know your values. And yeah i really think that getting burnt is neccessary to be able to appreciate the great things and to really KNOW when it is real and not just some motherf***er trying to mess up your brain. We can learn to love again

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Old Post 09-02-2017 03:56 PM
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Dani
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Registered: Mar 2004
Location: Sweden.
Posts: 54322

quote:
Originally posted by purple18
oh my childhood was messed up, that is partly why i am messed up myself. My father left us when i was 1 and then he died 4 years later. After that my mom went through some unhappy relationships and abusive boyfriends etc and only recently did she find peace. So yeah i am probably so insecure because of many things. It is great that you can be strong and confident enough to know that people are not attacking you and know your values. And yeah i really think that getting burnt is neccessary to be able to appreciate the great things and to really KNOW when it is real and not just some motherf***er trying to mess up your brain. We can learn to love again


That sounds tough. I'm sorry.

Not want to sound cheesy but Pink made me believe in myself and that I'm perfectly fine with the way I am, with all flaws and imperfections. When she released Miss I barely knew who I was cause of my mom. She always compared me with the "good girls". I didn't know what I liked or wanted because of her either. I just knew I was never enough and would never be anything. But then Pink sang like all about me and my life and taught me that I'm not alone. Also kinda helped me find myself in this mess of **** that I had to deal with every day. To hear someone in your life say "it's ok" is just so little effort but can mean so so much. I mean of course I still am very insecure in and can't handle a lot of situations, but that's ok too. I have finally made peace with myself and accepting myself. It took some years but yes I'm strong enough now to know what I deserve and what I don't deserve. Also my relationship with my mom is amazing. She is not the same at all. She's finally found peace too. I can imagine Pink helped you too a lot in all this you went through. I think actually, that you/we are stronger than we think! ♥

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Old Post 09-02-2017 04:29 PM
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nooneanymore
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Registered: Sep 2004
Location: Finland
Posts: 20700

<3 big hugs to you both Dani and Diana. You're warriors I can relate too.

This is a great thread Jeff. And you're a great friend. You should tell your friend how great he is. We should tell each other and ourselves that more often.

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Old Post 09-02-2017 09:25 PM
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nooneanymore
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I'd say that things that makes me amazing are my kindness, genuine goodness and resilience. I'm honest and intelligent. I'm extremely loyal and a really great friend. I'm there for my loved ones through thick and thin. I always try to understand people, why they are like they are, why they act like they act. And I want to connect with people and honestly make this world a better place. I just want everyone to get along and be happy. It sounds cheesy but that's how I really feel. In my family I've been laughed at as the idealist (even though I know they do respect me for that too) but I have always believed that it is possible to change the world and I'll never stop believing that.

I recently had my birthday and I got the most touching and beautiful card from one of my close friends. When I read what she wrote I basically felt like - if this is true I can die content. I've done my part in my 'small' life on this earth (even though there's so much more I'd like to do, many dreams I have on how to make even a small difference). She said that I have a unique ability to make people feel understood, heard, important and good about themselves. That even though we've met at uni and connected initially because we both were very concerned with and interested in discussing the dark sides of humanity - the evils that people do both to each other, the earth and animals. That despite this, during the years she's known me she has learned the most about goodness in this world - how some people can spread goodness around them.

So yeah, that's something that will carry me a long way. So grateful to know these amazing people that make me feel so good about myself.

I have to say that I'm a bit hesitant to write about my big accomplishment because I feel like I am in the midst of that process. I think it will be to get back on my two feet and live my life on my own terms, happily. After a life of difficult circumstances, then falling seriously ill a couple of years ago and basically losing everything I knew - to building my way backwards again. I've been through things I could not imagine was possible and even though I'm only halfway on this journey (or further?) I can say that it will be worth it. Because it's forced me to get to know myself in a whole different way and to really learn how to accept myself just as I am. Without being able to hide under a work or student identity, looks, accomplishments etc. Without any escapism. Just as I am, sick or healthy, alone or together, poor or rich, able or not. I know I'll be able to use these experiences as well to help other people. It's also made me even more curious and amazed about us humans - we can find our way through the most unbelievable circumstances. We can also make a mess out of nothing haha. But it'll all work out.

Life is tough but so are we

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Old Post 09-02-2017 09:29 PM
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Dani
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Registered: Mar 2004
Location: Sweden.
Posts: 54322

quote:
Originally posted by nooneanymore
I'd say that things that makes me amazing are my kindness, genuine goodness and resilience. I'm honest and intelligent. I'm extremely loyal and a really great friend. I'm there for my loved ones through thick and thin. I always try to understand people, why they are like they are, why they act like they act. And I want to connect with people and honestly make this world a better place. I just want everyone to get along and be happy. It sounds cheesy but that's how I really feel. In my family I've been laughed at as the idealist (even though I know they do respect me for that too) but I have always believed that it is possible to change the world and I'll never stop believing that.

I recently had my birthday and I got the most touching and beautiful card from one of my close friends. When I read what she wrote I basically felt like - if this is true I can die content. I've done my part in my 'small' life on this earth (even though there's so much more I'd like to do, many dreams I have on how to make even a small difference). She said that I have a unique ability to make people feel understood, heard, important and good about themselves. That even though we've met at uni and connected initially because we both were very concerned with and interested in discussing the dark sides of humanity - the evils that people do both to each other, the earth and animals. That despite this, during the years she's known me she has learned the most about goodness in this world - how some people can spread goodness around them.

So yeah, that's something that will carry me a long way. So grateful to know these amazing people that make me feel so good about myself.

I have to say that I'm a bit hesitant to write about my big accomplishment because I feel like I am in the midst of that process. I think it will be to get back on my two feet and live my life on my own terms, happily. After a life of difficult circumstances, then falling seriously ill a couple of years ago and basically losing everything I knew - to building my way backwards again. I've been through things I could not imagine was possible and even though I'm only halfway on this journey (or further?) I can say that it will be worth it. Because it's forced me to get to know myself in a whole different way and to really learn how to accept myself just as I am. Without being able to hide under a work or student identity, looks, accomplishments etc. Without any escapism. Just as I am, sick or healthy, alone or together, poor or rich, able or not. I know I'll be able to use these experiences as well to help other people. It's also made me even more curious and amazed about us humans - we can find our way through the most unbelievable circumstances. We can also make a mess out of nothing haha. But it'll all work out.

Life is tough but so are we





I had no idea about your illness. I'm glad you are feeling better. Hit me up on FB.

I know exactly what you mean with what you wrote about yourself. Cause that was my impression of you, the little few times that I had the chance to meet you and get to know you (except for online). You've always had a big heart and cared deeply for people around you (you helped me too!).

I can say that I was just like that too, a good listener and always put everyone's well being before mine. Cause I knew I'd manage, my problems are under control, I can help my friends (both my friends and pinkfans-friends!) instead. And I want to believe that I still am this person, but not in same way. Many many times this listening and understanding side of myself made me feel like I was never enough. I have a few close friends and many many many friends. And being there for my closest friends as well as many friends just didn't work for me. I know the passion and the heart in this, you want to listen and be there and help everyone because they actually say they need you and that talking to you helps them. A lot of people feel comfort and that is good but for me it was too much. One day I just felt like the worst person ever cause I couldn't be there for everyone. One friend said, you can't be everyone's hero, it's just too many people. And that's when I realized, damn, she's right. No wonder I feel completely torn. Have you ever experienced this? Do you know what I mean?

Also, what I've learnt, the hard way, from my last relationship, is that some things are just meant to be listened to, understood and respected, but not meant to be taken as an excuse for bad behaviour. I made excuses for my ex's bad behaviours cause of his bad experiences in life. And I accepted his apologies every time. Because I actually did pity him. And trust me, I am a person that is never taking **** from anyone. But this time I did, and I see it now. I didn't before. Anyway, what I am trying to say is that it's not always good to be too understanding and too caring, it can be dangerous too if it's with the wrong person.

Last edited by Dani on 09-03-2017 at 06:57 PM

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Old Post 09-03-2017 06:54 PM
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nooneanymore
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Registered: Sep 2004
Location: Finland
Posts: 20700

quote:
Originally posted by Dani


I had no idea about your illness. I'm glad you are feeling better. Hit me up on FB.

I know exactly what you mean with what you wrote about yourself. Cause that was my impression of you, the little few times that I had the chance to meet you and get to know you (except for online). You've always had a big heart and cared deeply for people around you (you helped me too!).

I can say that I was just like that too, a good listener and always put everyone's well being before mine. Cause I knew I'd manage, my problems are under control, I can help my friends (both my friends and pinkfans-friends!) instead. And I want to believe that I still am this person, but not in same way. Many many times this listening and understanding side of myself made me feel like I was never enough. I have a few close friends and many many many friends. And being there for my closest friends as well as many friends just didn't work for me. I know the passion and the heart in this, you want to listen and be there and help everyone because they actually say they need you and that talking to you helps them. A lot of people feel comfort and that is good but for me it was too much. One day I just felt like the worst person ever cause I couldn't be there for everyone. One friend said, you can't be everyone's hero, it's just too many people. And that's when I realized, damn, she's right. No wonder I feel completely torn. Have you ever experienced this? Do you know what I mean?

Also, what I've learnt, the hard way, from my last relationship, is that some things are just meant to be listened to, understood and respected, but not meant to be taken as an excuse for bad behaviour. I made excuses for my ex's bad behaviours cause of his bad experiences in life. And I accepted his apologies every time. Because I actually did pity him. And trust me, I am a person that is never taking **** from anyone. But this time I did, and I see it now. I didn't before. Anyway, what I am trying to say is that it's not always good to be too understanding and too caring, it can be dangerous too if it's with the wrong person.




Thank you Dani, I really appreciate it. <3 Yes we should catch up.

Yes, yes , yes. I totally agree with you. And even though I say this as a good thing about me it has also been my weakness because it has taken a long time for me to learn my own boundaries, because I care so much. I wanted to carry the world and everyone's problems on my shoulders but it became too much. That stress load contributed to me falling so ill. So I really do know how you feel and I think it's really important also to not create an identity around being the "helper" or the one who's always there. That's not healthy and can become co-dependency in unhealthy relationships. And in the end you are only responsible for your own life and feelings and so is everyone else. This has been a very important lesson for me. I'm aiming for a balance with all this. But right now it feels pretty good. I can be there for my close friends who are there for me too. But I am not carrying for example my parents' issues on my shoulders anymore, like I did for so many years without really knowing it. I do hope to find some meaningful work someday where I can feel that I'm making some difference in someone's lives. But I'm not trying to do everything 150 % like I did at some point and I'm not anyone's punching bag.

So yeah, balance is key and boundaries are crucial.

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nooneanymore
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Oh and I know that you have such a huge heart and I hope you know how much you helped me too back in the day. I'll always remember that and it meant a lot. ♥

I think we who've grown up in broken homes easily take that role as the supporter, helper, and end up taking a bit too much responsibility. But at the same time we grow more compassionate and understanding of different people's struggles and life's hardships. But part of growing up is also knowing when to take a step back.

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purple18
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Registered: Jan 2007
Location: Hungary
Posts: 14028

quote:
Originally posted by nooneanymore
Oh and I know that you have such a huge heart and I hope you know how much you helped me too back in the day. I'll always remember that and it meant a lot. ♥

I think we who've grown up in broken homes easily take that role as the supporter, helper, and end up taking a bit too much responsibility. But at the same time we grow more compassionate and understanding of different people's struggles and life's hardships. But part of growing up is also knowing when to take a step back.

that is very true.

it made me so sad to read about you being ill Milla you are the kindest person i know and you should never feel anything bad. you definitely make the world a better place just by being you, you know. life is so unfair sometimes. but i am really happy that you feel better now, health-wise and mentally too. <3

the good thing is that we are all young and there is still a full life ahead of us which will probably be full of **** but hopefully wonderful times too, which are worth living for.

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Old Post 09-04-2017 08:38 AM
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purple18
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Location: Hungary
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quote:
Originally posted by Dani


Also, what I've learnt, the hard way, from my last relationship, is that some things are just meant to be listened to, understood and respected, but not meant to be taken as an excuse for bad behaviour. I made excuses for my ex's bad behaviours cause of his bad experiences in life. And I accepted his apologies every time. Because I actually did pity him. And trust me, I am a person that is never taking **** from anyone. But this time I did, and I see it now. I didn't before. Anyway, what I am trying to say is that it's not always good to be too understanding and too caring, it can be dangerous too if it's with the wrong person.


oh god this is so true. the problem starts when people act bad because they have problems themselves but then at the same time they say "it's because of you that we have problems". and if it is a person you really love you start to accept that and look for a way to fix yourself when there was nothing to fix in the first place. then best thing you can do with these people is get them to seek professional help or if they don't admit that they have a problem, you sadly have to leave because it's a waste of time and energy and most of all, love and pain.

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Old Post 09-04-2017 08:42 AM
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